When Porn Habits Cause Weirdness

A mystery was solved today. Back when I lived in an apartment, I had some really nice neighbors. They were an older couple and really friendly. Then all of a sudden, I started getting a weird vibe from the wife. She wasn’t as sweet to me anymore. Sometimes she would look uncomfortable around me, and other times embarrassed. She barely looked me in the face. It was peculiar and continued for the rest of the time I lived there.

This afternoon, I ran into the husband while at the post office. He told me they are divorcing, so I went ahead and asked him what her deal was with me. He laughed and told me it was because of all the girls I would have sex with, and one night, they heard me being exceptionally vulgar with one. I was confused for a minute, and then it hit me. They heard my porn! I didn’t bother to correct him. I enjoyed the idea of them thinking I was such a stud during what was actually one of my worst dry spells.

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